Where Am I?

Why didn't anyone ever tell me that running a business, or multiple businesses actually, was so hard, frustrating, and hectic?

Well, I guess it just feels like so because I am still learning a lot. I am sure my work and the team's work will bear fruit soon enough. And that is when it'll all be worth it.

Quite on the learning curve, out of my comfort zone, freaking out about my own potential, doubting my own potential, seeing my own limitless possibilities...could this all really go on in one mind??

Here and Now

I just about forgot I had this online blog up until yesterday. Reading the blogs I still have public made me laugh. I wish I hadn't deleted all the blogs I used to write in those years though. And I think my brother is the only one who reads this...hi =)

One of the blogs I posted in 2008 talked about how I was feeling exuberant in life, and that there was opportunity all around me. It is now the beginning of 2010 and I still feel the same exact way. I finally quit Bravura. Although I wasn't happy there, it definitely taught me a lot and did me more good than bad. The past year, I have grown a lot professionally. I have met a lot of great friends and people who are doing well for themselves which inspires me.

This makes me happy to say because I remember last year I was struggling with letting go of my college association and activities. I felt alone because my friends were all either engineers and had it all laid out for them, or they were serving and still getting drunk four times a week. I made a conscious decision to cut off the latter, and like when cutting anything off...I went through a grieving period where I felt alone. I took action...and started doing Toastmasters and networking events, Team Challenge this year too. Glad I did all of the above because every little thing has helped me get here. And I can truthfully say...I wouldn't rather be anyone else but me, right here right now.

Started at Willmark...not quite sure how this will turn out. This week was really slow, and I guess easy, but I am hoping it picks up so I can learn. It is nice to have it easy at first but after a while, it drives me nuts. I like to be constantly challenged and active. If you know me, I'm always "go! go! go!" Sometimes I wonder who against or why I feel like I'm in a race though. A little hypocritical because I think America is too focused on the material "American Dream" yet here I am chasing it. I do know my purpose behind it all is to provide for my current and future family, and to help others in the community have the same opportunities I have.

Interviewed at Brian Tracy...crossing my fingers that there's a future there!

Dating...I guess I'm still in the grieving period. I haven't been through this in so long, I almost forgot how overwhelming it can be. Because of past situations I had always been the one to put up a wall, to have the upper hand in a relationship, etc...but it was so empty. I have taken a conscious effort to heal in the past few years. I guess this is the first time I have let my guard down to fight for something instead of give up, and why now the pain is more real.

There have been a few quality men that are pursuing, which is a little bittersweet. I'm a little tired of having to screen, test, and pass or fail men...takes time, effort, and emotions since everyone tends to put a "best face forward" or "fake face forward" the first few months. I guess I should look at it this way: I learn from everyone and have multiple experiences from everyone. I shouldn't see each relationship that doesn't work out as a "fail" but rather an experience.

I met more great people this month and has made me think about the goals I've set out some years ahead. I always told myself I would be an entrepreneur before I turn 30. Now I am thinking maybe I should put that in my "next 5 years" goal plan. That would mean I need to start brainstorming and planning this year. I am thinking about quitting Claim Jumper so I can do just that. I would have time to read, organize, meet and mingle, and map. Sucks because Claim Jumper is a very good source of steady income. Which reminds me I did my taxes today and actually owed money! Ugh...work two jobs this entire year and yet my margins aren't much higher than the year before when I was in college! It'll all unfold with time, I am excited for the next two years.

Surprisingly I have been having more faith than usual. I'm the wishy washy Christian, who has always said I only go to church to listen to the values and association...but lately I feel more comfort and in peace with that aspect. It is a journey.

For the most part I try to stay positive about having psoriasis. It is so weird to think it was less than a year ago that I had clear skin. I have always been known for my "soft skin" too! My patches have gotten worse and now I can't even wear short sleeves without being embarrassed. I still get self-conscious a lot but am making progress. I took a walk outside in shorts and a tank top a couple of weeks ago around the neighborhood. And went jogging with Herb in shorts in daylight last week too. Baby steps...

Thinking about training for a full marathon for the 2011 Carlsbad. Hmm...

My family is amazing, and my friends are amazing.

Need to get healthier...I am giving up alcohol, sweets, and meat for lent. Haha I feel bad for anyone around me the first week of that because I know I will be irritable. Suckerrrrrrrr!

economy putting you down?

The following opinions might be controversial and some might perceive the content as ignorance but these are my opinions:

What is up with all the paranoia of the "failing economy?" Yes, I understand we are doing far worse than America is used to, but much of that sense of negativity in viewing what is going on is all pride. I actually like what is going on. It'll teach our society a lesson on greed, being too excessive (using credit for money we don't have), and that maybe...we should utilize the idea of delayed gratification more often (i.e. be proactive and save money before you get in trouble versus getting in trouble then having no money and ultimately freaking out...you dumbass).

Why not use this opportunity to hone in on the things in life that are beyond monetary value. Go out and enjoy hobbies, friends, and family. Find the passion you've been looking for or didn't know you had. Use this time to build skills and knowledge that will grow with exponential value once the economy starts picking up again (we won't stay in a slump forever).

I also find it funny that people complain about everything going on when in reality they have no clue about the details other than "it's bad out there." I have to admit, I don't know much about the details of what is going on because I refuse to watch the news. News that is filled with depression and negativity does not entice me to watch it at all. I'm too busy worrying about building a foundation now to use later. Like Covey says...think with the end in mind.

And for those who are fortunate enough to still have a steady source of income: there is nothing to complain about. There is food on the table and a warm roof over your head. So you can't afford your nice car anymore, or you can't shop as much, or now you have to live on a budget. Oh Boo Hoo. Don't lose sight of the fact that we live so lavishly here compared to other countries. Let us not focus on what we don't have but focus on what we DO have. I understand it is hard, especially for those who are looking for employment. Hard times isn't an excuse to be unhappy though.

This is an excerpt from Think and Grow Rich that (in my opinion) captivates why our society is so unhappy:

"The age in which we live seems to be consumed by money-madness. People are considered less than the dust of the earth unless they can display a fat bank account; but if they have money--never mind how acquired--they are often idolized and treated as being above the law. They rule in politics, dominate in business and the whole world about them bows in respect when they pass by."

I do admire people who became rich through entrepreneurial success, adversity, and hard work. I personally have my own monetary goals. My point is to not to let lack of money be the first fear, nor should attainment of pure riches be the only desire. Be peripheral in everything else that is going on...maybe that'll make you happy.

missing

Life is short, carpe diem.

Aren't we always told that? Sometimes we forget, sometimes we remember.

Thus far, I am exuberant about my life. I have so much opportunity in front of my face that I am just figuring what to do with it all. People like to be pessimistic and say that everything is stagnant because of our economy but I beg to differ. I find joy in building skills and continuous learning. I know I am taking opportunity of everything I have, and everything will fall in place when it's supposed to.

Today I found out about my cousin passing away last night. Twenty-four hours ago he was alive and now he isn't. It is quite a thought. He lived in Texas so I didn't really grow up with him, but my heart goes out to my family (whom mean the world to me). Nineteen is way too early to leave his mark, but I know he is in a better place. Rest in peace Hien Nguyen.

work in progress

In my attempt at continual education and ongoing self-improvement, I am working on self-discipline and persistence. Self-discipline seems easy enough to say but working on it is harder than I thought. These are my efforts...

Drinking:
I limited my drinking to one or two glasses of wine a week. This cuts out a lot of the social things I am used to doing as a college student. I am now in search of new social things to do that don't involve massive alcohol consumption. I read a lot but after a while, especially for someone like me, I yearn human interaction.

Association:
I am making a conscious effort to surround myself with people who dream big, are optimistic, encouraging, and passionate. I have learned the two biggest influences in who you will become are your association and what you read. I am now strategic about my influences.

Jogging:
I told everyone I would run the Silver Strand half-marathon, this is happening in two weeks and I am only halfway on my training. Therefor, I am now running the Carlsbad half-marathon. I now have no excuses to not do this. I am determined and have registered. Training is one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. It definitely takes patience and self-discipline to push your physical capabilities.


I am working on building a strong foundation for myself. Breaking old habits is hard, especially when I enjoyed those habits. Then I sit down and rationally think: what is best for me?

The year is winding down and I feel the pressure to get a full-time job. I like my current job and that's the hard part, I've become complacent.

Like I tell everyone, I am a work in progress...